Goat Simulator: Remastered
Coffee Stain Studios · Simulation, Adventure
Overview
Goat Simulator Remastered is the latest in goat simulation technology. Your favorite chaotic sandbox is back and more beautiful than ever, with updated graphics, every DLC, and more bugs that you can shake a goat at. WASD to rewrite history.
THE GAMEQ VERDICT651 reviews analyzed
What players are actually saying
1. Summary
Players treat Goat Simulator: Remastered as what its name says: the 2014 sandbox about wrecking a town as a goat, rebuilt with new lighting and textures, bundled with every original DLC map plus the formerly mobile-only Buck to School level, and given a mutator menu that swaps abilities mid-game. Reviewers say the chaos still lands, many of the warm reviews are about nostalgia, and a few parents write about playing split-screen with their kids. Most complaints measure the remaster against the original. Returning fans argue over whether a graphics pass and one extra map justify a new purchase, and they list what went missing: the other mobile seasonal maps, many of the original achievements, online play, Steam Workshop, the profane jokes, and some of the original's wild physics.
Where reviewers disagree, it is mostly about who should buy it. They tell players new to the series that this is the version to buy, while owners of the original, and of Goat Simulator 3, are often told to wait for a sale or skip it. Launch week was the roughest stretch, with stuck low-resolution textures, ragdoll and stuttering bugs and cash-grab complaints, and the reviews became much more positive after it.
2. What keeps coming up
What players praise
The same chaotic goat sandbox, still funnyHigh
Reviewers write fondly about the core loop: headbutting people, dragging things with the tongue, launching off trampolines and stacking mutators into something monstrous. 18% of the longer reviews describe the fun in these terms (chaos, goofy, silly, hilarious), and a large share of the short reviews say the same thing in one line. "Still as fun as it used to be," one early reviewer wrote. Several players frame the jank as the point, and a few remaster-skeptics agree the original's humor survives here. For players who want structure or goals, a handful of reviews say the novelty wears off, and one negative review calls it "a stupid game that is at best, cheeky".
Sharper visuals, with a too-bright catchHigh
22% of the longer reviews praise the new look: crisper textures, new lighting, a cleaner Pilgor, with one fan singling out the space and Payday maps, plus small fixes such as tabbing out without the resolution changing. A smaller group (8%) dislikes the art pass: they call it oversaturated, too bright or plasticky, or say some retextured objects look worse than before. One negative review calls the new look "an oversaturated strain on the eyes", and a reviewer who still recommends the game says Goatville's colors don't suit a map that is "supposed to be literal purgatory". One reviewer's fix for the glare was to "lower the in game gamma".
Every DLC map in one package, plus Buck to SchoolHigh
Buck to School, the school level previously exclusive to mobile, comes up in 10% of the longer reviews, and returning fans mostly welcome it. A similar share point out that GoatZ, Goat MMO Simulator, Waste of Space and Payday all come included. Several reviewers did the math and found the bundle cheaper than the original plus its DLC, one saying it "makes it actually slightly cheaper than buying the old base game and the DLC". Some of the same reviewers wanted the other mobile maps too (see frustrations).
Nostalgia for a childhood gameHigh
Memories fill 15% of the longer reviews: players who grew up with the original on PC, Xbox 360, PlayStation, iPad, Kindle or phone and are glad to revisit it. Their tone is warm, though a few admit it doesn't quite land the same: "something doesn't hit the same," as one put it.
Swapping mutators mid-gameMedium
The mutator menu, singled out in 10% of the longer reviews, lets players change abilities without returning to the main menu and use mutators from any map on any other map. One fan put it this way: "being able to use mutators on the fly and use mutators from all dlc on any map is a god send". Some negative reviews name it as the one clear improvement.
Split-screen with familyLow
A handful of reviewers play local split-screen, including parents playing with young children. One reviewer wrote that "me and my nephew play it every morning on split-screen." Some of the same reviews warn that there is no online play (see below).
Where players are split
Is it worth it over the original?High
15% of the longer reviews say the remaster adds too little, calling it the same game with new textures or a cash grab, and asking "Why wasn't this an update for the original game instead?" 8% say the original is plainly better and tell readers to play that instead. Another 9% say the opposite and call the remaster the better or definitive version. The defenders point to the store page: "This game is exactly what it is advertised to be." The split mostly follows ownership. New players are told this is the version to buy, while owners of the original with all its DLC are told to skip it or wait.
Price and the case for waiting for a saleHigh
Price comes up in 18% of the longer reviews. Even reviews that recommend the game often advise waiting for a sale, and several negative ones call the full price too much for a graphics pass. Some call it fair because every DLC map is included. Returning players mention the upgrade bundle discount for owners of the original, and some still found it not worth the money even with that discount.
Bugs: fewer of the old ones, some new onesHigh
Bugs come up in 16% of the longer reviews, and the reports pull in both directions. Some say the remaster "fixes all the buggy parts about the old goat simulator", lags less and crashes less. Others report new problems the original didn't have. In launch week these included textures stuck on low settings, a ragdolled goat that wouldn't stand back up, and stutters. Later reviews mention a race quest that won't complete, a Payday mission where "the prototype helicopter drill literally doesnt work", a vanishing UI in GoatZ and crashes at startup. Players shared a -dx11 launch option as a fix for the texture problem, and one reviewer updated their review: "Had a disappointing launch, but they have fixed all of the major issues!"
Comparisons with Goat Simulator 3High
16% of the longer reviews bring up Goat Simulator 3. Some fans expected the remaster to be built like the sequel, with its smoother movement, faster ragdoll recovery and online play, and were disappointed it plays like the 2014 original. Some tell readers to buy the sequel instead: "If you haven't played Goat Simulator at all, just get Goat Simulator 3." Others prefer the remaster's maps and NPC reactions, and one parent says their child, raised on the sequel, now treats this as new content.
Tamer physics, or a cleaner gameLow
A smaller group (5% of the longer reviews) says the remaster lost some of the original's wildness. NPCs topple instead of flying, some mutator combinations are blocked, and favorite exploits were patched out. "I want to see NPCs being flung to high heaven, not just tipping over," one reviewer wrote, and another put it as "Bugginess and jank is what makes the game fun." Other reviewers are happy the game is more stable, and some still find plenty of glitchy flinging.
How long it lastsLow
A few reviewers note it is quick to complete, saying "this was fast to 100%". Others say mutators and silly experiments keep them playing for a long time. Players who prize completion tie this to the reduced achievement list.
What frustrates players
Missing mobile-exclusive mapsMedium
8% of the longer reviews ask for the other mobile content. Buck to School made the cut, but the seasonal maps (the Halloween GoatZ map, the Goat MMO winter map, the Waste of Space Valentine's map) and some platform-exclusive goats did not. Mobile-era fans feel this most: "I really wish they'd add more of the mobile exclusive stuff to the remastered version". Several reviewers who like the remaster call it their only real complaint, and one says it is the reason the remaster isn't the definitive version.
Clunkier controls and movementMedium
How the goat handles draws complaints in 8% of the longer reviews, and they are specific: no way to turn off mouse smoothing, input delay, being unable to run while strafing, a controller stick that slips from running to walking, harder wall-running, and button layouts that can't match the original. "How did they make this game control worse than the original?" one longtime fan asked.
Performance on weaker PCs and Steam DeckMedium
8% of the longer reviews raise performance. On integrated graphics and older PCs, players report single-digit or low frame rates with settings at minimum, and ask for a render-scale option and lower foliage and shadow settings. One reviewer wrote that lowering settings did little: "The FPS barely increases". Steam Deck players report anywhere from fine at medium settings to rough even on low. Some players on stronger hardware say it runs better than the original.
Fewer achievements than the originalMedium
8% of the longer reviews mention achievements, mostly the cut list. One reviewer counted 42 in the remaster against 127 in the original, and others say the smaller set "makes 100% everything kinda pointless". A few are glad the harder ones, such as Flappy Goat, are gone.
No online multiplayerMedium
6% of the longer reviews object that there is split-screen but no online co-op, which reviewers say the original and Goat Simulator 3 both offered. Several call Steam Remote Play Together an easy fix: "you're one checkbox away from greatness". One reviewer refunded over it at once: "10/10 instant refund".
Removed profanity and adult jokesMedium
6% of the longer reviews notice that the original's explicit-content option is gone, along with profane signs and jokes. Several ask for a toggle rather than calling it a dealbreaker: "No profanity. Like the Workshop, not a deal-breaker". A few players push back: "I don't know why people are crying over censorship in this game, it's Goat Simulator."
No Steam Workshop or mod supportLow
5% of the longer reviews miss the original's workshop and custom goats. Several call it their only complaint about a remaster they otherwise like, for example "Beautiful remaster, but please, give us Workshop and SDK!"
Changed musicLow
A few long-time fans object to the replaced Deadmau5 track and goat-dance song, with one telling the developers "For the deletion of the OG goat-dance song you will suffer lego bricks by your bedside every morning."
3. The player conversation
The tone is affectionate and jokey. A large share of the reviews are one-word bleats, "goated" puns and mock-epic praise. The longer arguments mostly come from fans of the 2014 original, and their complaints measure the remaster against it: value, cut achievements, the workshop, removed jokes, tamer physics and controls that feel off. Mobile-era fans add a separate request for the seasonal maps.
Launch week drew 104 English reviews at 76% positive, heavy with texture, ragdoll and "low-effort cash-grab" complaints. Later reviews ran at 92% positive, and their criticism is more about content and value than broken features.
4. What the developers could do
- Fix the remaining new bugs and add lower graphics options: bug and performance reports describe broken quests, a non-working Payday drill and texture problems, and weak-PC players asked for render scale, very-low foliage and shadows.
- Port the remaining mobile seasonal maps: the Halloween, winter and Valentine's maps and platform-exclusive goats are the missing content fans ask for, and one reviewer calls them the reason this isn't the definitive version.
- Add control options and restore the original handling: a mouse smoothing toggle, running while strafing, full controller remapping and faster ragdoll recovery would answer the specific handling complaints in negative reviews.
- Restore the original achievement list: achievement hunters compare the remaster's list to the original's and call the cut list a reason 100% feels pointless.
- Enable online play, starting with Remote Play Together: at least one player refunded over split-screen-only co-op, and players see Remote Play Together as a simple first step.
- Add an explicit-content toggle: players asking for the original's profane signs and jokes mostly want an option, which reviewers say the original PC release had.
- Loosen the physics and mutator limits: veterans miss the extreme ragdoll launches and blocked mutator combinations, and an optional classic physics mode would address them without undoing the stability others like.
- Add Steam Workshop support: several reviewers who otherwise like the remaster name the missing workshop as their only complaint.
