Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Landfall Games · Fighting, Simulation, Strategy, Indie
Overview
A physics based medieval battle simulator which lets you pit wacky waving armies against each other. In Totally Accurate Battle Simulator you pit waving arm men against each other and watch them fight it out.
THE GAMEQ VERDICT9,999 reviews analyzed
What players are actually saying
1. Summary
Players treat Totally Accurate Battle Simulator as a slapstick sandbox with a real puzzle game underneath, and the slice is overwhelmingly positive. The wobbly physics come up most: 27% of the longer reviews talk about ragdolls, wobbling, googly eyes or how funny the fights look. After that come the unit creator and other custom content, the workshop and mods, the open sandbox, and a strategy layer that players describe as deeper than the art suggests. Secret units, playing with friends or children, and years of watching YouTubers play it before finally buying it also recur in the praise.
No complaint is widespread. Boredom is the most common reason given in the thumbs-down reviews: about a quarter of the 224 say the fun ran out quickly, that it turned repetitive, or that it is a game made for watching on YouTube. Another 15% of them describe something breaking, from crashes and workshop items that fail to load to custom units wiped after a reinstall or a move to a new PC. Smaller groups across the longer reviews raise lag in very large battles, a campaign that some find luck-driven, the end of updates and a unit creator that cannot make mounts.
2. What keeps coming up
What players praise
Slapstick physics that make every battle funnyHigh
Ragdolls, wobbling, googly eyes and the comedy of the fights come up in 27% of the longer reviews. Players describe knights tripping over their own swords, mammoths launching soldiers off the map and a single clubber outlasting a golem. "The physics are the real star," one review says, and another sums up the appeal as "Stupid, dumb, physics are confusing, it's perfect." The randomness is part of the charm: the same two armies can produce a different winner, which players in the sandbox enjoy and players in the campaign sometimes resent (see the campaign item below).
A unit creator and custom content that extend the gameHigh
Several long reviews say custom content is where most of their time goes, and 20% of the longer reviews bring up the unit creator, map creator, faction tools or custom units. One player who nearly refunded the game wrote: "Then I discovered the Unit Creator. Before long, I had created 56 custom units." Recreating characters from anime, other games and films is a running habit in these reviews. Some newcomers can't find their creations at first, because custom units only show up after enabling mods and adding them to a faction. One player who couldn't work this out switched to a thumbs-down, writing "Wasted an hour making units I can't even access." The tool's limits are covered under frustrations.
Workshop and mods keep it freshHigh
The in-game workshop and mods come up in 15% of the longer reviews. Players download units, maps, factions and full campaigns to keep going after the base content, and a community roguelike mode and a hidden-units mod are named. "The workshop is filled with super creative and fun units and battles, and these custom aspects are where the majority of my hours in this game have gone," one long review says. Players also note that the workshop runs outside Steam's own system, creators complain about copies of their work being reuploaded, and some mods break saves or slow the game (see the first frustration).
A sandbox for "who would win" experimentsHigh
Sandbox mode is singled out in 13% of the longer reviews, often as the part the reviewer prefers over the campaign. Players stage absurd matchups, slow the action down and take screenshots of the aftermath. One review describes the mode as a place to settle questions like "Who would win in a fight: 20 raptors or 60 medieval soldiers?" and others list their own versions, from hundreds of halflings against a god to tanks against peasants.
More strategy than the googly eyes suggestMedium
Players who write about strategy, tactics or puzzles (11% of the longer reviews) say the campaign's budgets, counters and positioning make it a real tactics game. "It's not just 'haha funny ragdoll'," as one puts it, and another calls it "unironically challenging at times." A smaller group finds the depth thin, saying "simply two or three strategies can get you through the entire single player contents."
Secret units worth hunting forMedium
Glowing objects hidden around the maps unlock secret units, and 8% of the longer reviews mention them. Fans of the hunt like the collectible layer, though several admit they needed a guide: "There are also secret guys that you would never have been able to find without a youtube video for sure." A few find it a chore, including one negative review that says there are "Too many units locked behind tedious 'secrets'".
A game for friends, siblings and kidsMedium
Parents describe it as a safe pick, with one writing "My 5 year old son's favourite game." Friends or siblings come up in 7% of the longer reviews, and children, family or the lack of blood in 4%. Another reviewer wrote: "In my entire life have I not seen my dad laugh as hard (he was in tears, almost choking and red-faced) as when we played this." Local play and Remote Play Together both get positive mentions.
A YouTube favourite players finally got to playMedium
Some players grew up watching YouTubers play the game, or remember the early alpha, and finally bought it themselves; 7% of the longer reviews tell a version of this story, and console owners buying it again on PC also show up. These reviews say the game lives up to the memory. A handful of negative reviewers say the opposite, that it is better watched than played (see the item on how long the fun lasts).
Runs on modest hardware at small scaleLow
Old laptops, Macs, Chromebooks and the Steam Deck all get a mention in the 4% of longer reviews that praise how well it runs: "Also runs well on potato computers which is a big bonus." Several of them add that this holds only until the unit count climbs.
Possessing a unit to fight in first personLow
Pressing F to take control of a unit mid-battle is called out in 2% of the longer reviews. Fans like the change of perspective: "I LOVE being able to take control of one of the little guys and feel like im actually charging into a battle with certian death". Others find the controls clumsy, saying "its quite janky so its usually better to let the AI handle it."
Where players are split
The campaign: clever puzzles or luck and cheeseHigh
The campaign comes up in 17% of the longer reviews, and opinions go three ways. Some love it as a puzzle series, like the player who found "real challenges that felt reasonable, scaled well, and were very satisfying to overcome". A second group, 5% of the longer reviews, complains about randomness, unfair levels, difficulty spikes or the need to cheese: "A lot of them are unreasonably difficult and require cheesing," one says, and another writes "You can copy a level strategy guide unit by unit, pixel by pixel and still lose the level just cause of the physics." A third, smaller group finds most levels too easy once a few strong units are known, naming combinations like ballista plus cheerleaders or the Present Elf secret unit. Some players get past the hardest levels by bringing custom units or the free bug DLC into the campaign.
How long the fun lastsMedium
"Without that creativity, the gameplay loop gets old fast," one review says. 6% of the longer reviews say the game gets repetitive or boring after a while, and boredom is the leading complaint among thumbs-down reviews (about a quarter of them); one negative review calls it a game "more interesting to watch on YouTube than to play yourself." Others disagree: creators say the unit and map tools give them endless material, and several players recommend short sessions, like the one who decided "it's actually the perfect game to play once or twice a month for a few hours."
Full price or wait for a saleMedium
Players split on the price, which comes up in 5% of the longer reviews. Several bought it for a couple of dollars in a sale and call it a bargain. Some say it is worth the full price, with one writing "Don't buy it on sale. this is one of the few games I have played that is worth buying at full price." Others say it is only worth it discounted: "Not worth 20 bucks. If you can pick it up for less than 10, would recommend."
A finished game or an abandoned oneLow
Reviewers say Landfall has stopped updating the game; 4% of the longer reviews mention it, and short reviews repeat it. Some take it calmly, like the player who said "this one ended while it was in a perfectly fine state." Others are sad to lose the anticipation ("There isn't any anticipation for what comes next, but the game is fantastic as is") or angrier about it, with one short negative review calling it "Abandonware".
What frustrates players
Lost creations, broken workshop items and crashesMedium
Something breaking is the subject of 6% of the longer reviews and 15% of the thumbs-down ones. Some of these players lost custom content: units, factions and maps wiped after a reinstall, a new PC or a bad mod. One notes "I lost all of them because of no cloud save. Yes this game has no cloud save." Others describe workshop subscriptions failing, or items that "either do not appear in their tab or they break the game by cloning infinitely", plus crashes on launch, black screens and a Unity error that left one player unable to play.
Lag once battles get bigMedium
Frame rate in large battles draws complaints in 5% of the longer reviews, and several of those players say big battles are how they most want to play. Reports range from older laptops slowing past 50 units to high-end machines struggling with a few hundred: "I have a 4080 SUPER and a 7800X3D and a few hundred soldiers lags it and becomes unplayable." One detailed review measured the drops and concluded "But damn, can this game chug at times." Workarounds players mention are slow motion and keeping unit counts down.
Unit creator limitsLow
More than three body types, mounts and vehicles, custom weapons and adjustable ability stats are on the wish list in 3% of the longer reviews. "I feel like there could be more customization options such as being able to choose from more than just 3 bodies, allowing units to ride other pre-made units," one player writes, and another points out "theres still no way to make horses without mods lol." Mods fill some of these gaps.
Units that wander off or target the wrong enemyLow
The AI comes up in 3% of the longer reviews. Several treat the dim-witted units as part of the joke; the complaints come when pathing decides a campaign level. One player wrote that "when my characters walk towards the wall instead of the opponent, while they walk straight to me and kill me, it becomes less cute and more of a waste of time." Another asked for priority targeting because units turn their backs on the main enemy force to chase one attacker.
Achievements that demand deathless campaign runsLow
"There are ACHIEVEMENTS that force you to restart a campaign when you lose," one player warns, and short reviews tell completionists to stay away. Achievements come up in 3% of the longer reviews, mostly the ones requiring a full campaign without a loss. Players note that cheats or custom units can be used to earn them, and some are glad of it.
Restricted, quiet multiplayerLow
Online play draws criticism in 2% of the longer reviews, over a 30-unit and budget cap, no custom units, two players only and empty lobbies: "Multiplayer with friends is extremely restricted. No custom content, Limited money, limited units and only 2 people etc." Others ask for a server browser, and one notes that players can only match with people who bought the game on the same store.
Little in-game explanationLow
One negative review says "I would forgive this game if it at the very least TOLD YOU WHAT THE UNITS DO." The camera, missing tutorials or missing information come up in 2% of the longer reviews. Others want post-battle statistics, a less twitchy camera and clearer steps for using custom units.
3. The player conversation
The conversation is affectionate and full of jokes: "totally accurate" puns, memes, and long reviews that tell the story of a peasant beating a god or a catapult rolling off a cliff. Nostalgia runs through it, from reviewers who watched the game on YouTube as children to those who bought it again after playing on console. Several reviews written around the spring sale mention paying a dollar or two, and a few in July mark the game's tenth anniversary.
Criticism is rare and mostly mild. More than half of the thumbs-down reviews about boredom come from people who played only a few hours and felt they had seen everything, while complaints about lost creations and the unit creator's limits come from long-time builders with large libraries of custom units. Campaign difficulty is argued over by both completionists and casual players, from opposite directions. The positive share stays between 94% and 100% in every week of the slice from October 2025 onward.
4. What the developers could do
- Back up custom creations, ideally with cloud saves. Several thumbs-down reviews come from players who lost units, factions and maps after a reinstall, a new PC or a broken mod.
- Make workshop subscriptions and mod loading reliable. Players describe subscriptions that fail, items that never appear and downloads that clone themselves or softlock the game.
- Improve performance in large battles. Players want huge armies, and one owner of a high-end PC reports the game becoming unplayable at a few hundred units.
- Add content for after the campaign, such as new campaigns or factions. Boredom is the leading complaint in thumbs-down reviews, and some fans ask for more campaigns and factions.
- Smooth the campaign's difficulty spikes and let players save armies per level. Players report levels lost to randomness, a need to cheese, and deathless achievements that one player suggested would be fairer with saved army setups.
- Allow custom units and looser limits in multiplayer, with a lobby browser. Players with friends find online play capped and unable to use their own creations, and others wait in empty lobbies.
- Expand the unit creator with mounts, more body types and ability stats. Long-time builders ask for horses, vehicles and units that ride others, which players say only mods provide.
- Show unit information in game and explain the custom-unit steps. Newcomers say they could not tell what units do or find their own creations without searching online.
